Dear 15 yr old Me
I know things are really hard sometimes. There are so many voices
telling you what you can and cannot do. Who you should and who you should not
be. What is right and what is wrong. I know you are doing your best to figure
it all out for yourself and process the noise; and I know that there are times
when you feel like your best is never going to be enough.
I want you to know that you are going to be OK. Your best is
good enough and you are never going to be perfect. The mistakes you make will
not define you if you do not let them. Don’t let them.
There will be a time, not long from now, when you will lose
your way. This time will be hard and scary and full of remorse. You will feel
hopeless and alone – even though you will be surrounded by people. This time in
your life can be avoided if you choose wisely. If you can dig deep within
yourself and be humble to the advice of those who truly love you! Your parents
love you and want you to be happy. They are not trying to ruin your life. They
are not perfect. They will make mistakes. Forgive them. One day you will understand
for yourself the immense calling that is parenthood and you will know why they
acted so desperately. It was desperation at the heart of their war with you and
you fought your own battle from the same ground also.
Your feelings matter. Your ideas are important. You are
capable. You are not fat. You are not ugly. You are precious and fragile and
still learning. You are not the object of a boy’s affection. Do not be quick to
tie yourself to the same person for your entire youth. They may prove to be an
anchor that keeps you in an unsafe harbour. There will be time for love and
heartache later. Learn who you are first and then be confident in the man that
loves you for exactly whoever that is. You are not defined by the opinions
other will form of you. And they will form opinions. Have courage and know that
courage is not the absence of fear, rather the ability to move through that
fear and press forward. Forgive yourself and forgive others. It takes courage
to forgive.
Ask for help when you are in trouble. There will be times
when you will be afraid to ask, ask anyway. Take responsibility for your
actions and be honest with yourself and others.
Above all else I want you to know that you are loved. You are
loved so deeply there is no name for it. You are capable of learning to love
yourself. Learn to love yourself and you will never feel alone.
Life gets better if you let it!
xo
