Lucky

I feel real lucky to have had the opportunity to have one-on-one time with each of my babes in the one week. It’s always nice to have time to really connect with their unique personalities’ and to meet their individual set of needs and wants, without distraction. Today it was Reeve’s turn.

Daddy Bax took Miss Indi on a daddy daughter date and I had some special time with my little boy. 

We spent our time together doing what Reeve loves most –

                     Rolling around on the floor and eating!

He indulged me with smiles and cuddles and a lot of hair pulling…    He loves to pull hair!

We listened to music and practised crawling and enjoyed one other’s undivided attention...

...& when Miss Indi arrived home she gladly "helped" R practise some more!

Farm Yard Friends

 group shots

{clockwise-Jordy,Taleigha,Paige,Holly,Indi,Harry,Ling}

This past Friday I took both Kiddies and Paige (cousin) to meet up with some friends at the Animal Farm.   The day was once again a success and I think these photos are proof of the fun we the kiddies had.

{Eating the spoils with Paige}

{Damper show}

{Happy Reeve}

 

{Peaceful Sen Sen}

  


IndiaheartsHarry

 {Holly and Paige catching chickens}

 India being chased...

... by chickens!

Indi and Jordy having a cuddle

Indi having a moment

Paige and Reeve

Indi kissing a sheep

I'm so blessed to have Sarah and Penny as friends. we laugh alot and i love that our children laugh together too! Thanks for another great day peeps! I'm planning on making this a monthly excursion!

Matthew 5 : 9

when I am in the midst of unrest, this sound brings peace to my soul...

my heart is full!

 

Indi - the Farm Girl

Today we spent the day together, just Indi and I.

Reeve went to play with Grandma Baker so I could have some precious one-on-one time with India. We decided to visit the Landsdale Animal Farm and we had a great time together.

Indi loved visiting the animals and has always had a love for these beautiful creatures.

whether speaking to a goat

or

getting cosy with the donkey

or

riding on the tractor train

or

chasing llamas

or

hanging with baa baa black sheep

or

 remembering lunch...

India smiled the whole morning...

well, almost...

 

We had so much fun we're planning to go back with some friends on Friday.

Thanks for a great day India... you never cease to amaze me and i feel so lucky to have you in my life.

xxx

quirks and quips that make me smile

India

you give me a thumbs up with your pointer finger

when I ask you to repeat a word I don't understand you say 'f.f.f.' before repeating your pronunciation.
      (i.e "f.f.f. Lide" - and the word is slide.)

randomly throughout the day you tell me "i lush (love) you so much"


if I get frustrated doing something you have asked me to do and you think im going to stop trying you sing this song from 'Yo Gabba Gabba' -
              "keep trying, keep trying. don't give up. never give up"

when i surprise you with presents you energetically say 
                 "oh thanks mama... I lush it so much!"

I love you Indi... keep 'em coming xxx

Reeve

you attempt to crawl constantly and constantly your efforts result in you holding your weight on all fours until you buckle and face plant... but you remain stalwart nonetheless.
 
when you are excited your whole body gives you away.

 you are beginning to mimic your sister's squeals of enthusiasm.

you smile... and when you do I see my Grandfather and I feel a homecoming.

I love you Mr. Ma-goo-in and don't you ever forget it xxx

Beautiful Hurricane

I call her 'the hurricane'...
 
I look at this girl and my heart abounds far from the safety of my chest!
When I really, truly stop and take all of her in I am astonished by what I see and by what I feel...

A whir of tears and laugher, loud voices and tender touch... our days              collide. 

This girl rises before me... 
she is funny...
she is loving...
and she has a fire inside of her that is capable of total abolition.
         A demanding inferno of kindness and forgiveness and love.


We challenge one another constantly and we come out the other side stronger!
       
I still lay with her at night as she hesitantly drifts off to sleep. Partly it's because she refuses to sleep if I'm not there, but mostly its because I'm not ready to take that leap and let her go. Most nights I get frustrated by her reluctance to actually go to sleep. I endure many pleadings for more stories or more songs, until I finally resort to threats. 

Nevertheless, on those nights when I watch her as she tries so desperately to fall asleep, I am floored by her . 
   
 Her birds nest hair resting on my arm. 

  Her eyelids all a flutter, blanket eyes that submerge me in their waking depth.  

    Her mouth, like two puffed up pillows, fall open just enough for her milky breath to escape.

           Her Vegemite cheeks... full and rosey.

She is beauty personified and no matter what the trials of the day have been... no matter the struggle... no matter the challenge... no matter the mind numbing monotany of our daily life together... her beauty astounds me and I am left silently standing in her wake.

Captain Peeves

this. boy. is. divine...

...and he is mine. all. mine!

 

How did I get so lucky?!

My mama told me there'd be days like this!

 {written 13/04/2011}

Dear India,

Today was a tough day. You spent half of the night trapped in nightmares, thrashing around in bed and consequently you woke up out of sorts. You told me repeatedly that you were sad and grumpy. You even told me you did not love me at one point. I had asked you to let me go to the bathroom by myself; I know I was being totally selfish! Throughout the day I felt sad with you, and helpless, and even a little frustrated. I’m sorry if I lost my patience with you.

 I worry sometimes that I expect too much from you. You have only been on this earth for 2 years, and I know you’ve been trying your hardest to soak it all up.

But I also worry that I’m going to raise an indulged child if I let you get away with too much. You have such a strong will and you know how to be your own advocate. I love this in you and fear this in you too. I want you to be confident and strong and happy. But I also want to teach you how to bridle those passions and delay instant gratification. I hope I can teach you these things without you feeling I am taking your power away. Some days I feel this constant power struggle with you and I’m guilty of giving in too much as well as pushing you too far. I promise to be more consistent as I try to find stability in motherhood.

You are my first. Maybe life is supposed to have handed us this trial. You got all of me to yourself for the first little bit and all of those awe inspiring first time memories of my mothering are intertwined with ONLY you. And so in return you will bear the brunt of all my first mistakes. I know Heavenly Father made you strong enough to take on the world, so why not start with me! Thank you for letting me ‘experiment’ with you. Your brother will one day thank you.

I love you now.. more than ever!

Love always,

Ma xxx

tears don't mean you're losing

Sometimes… just sometimes…I feel like I’m drowning!

Dry drowning in a weir of trepidation and chaos and uncertainty and sadness! A real bone crunching, soul destroying, leave you flat on your face, kind of sadness. It is fickle, it is pointless, but it is here in this very moment!

Its origin disconcerts me, almost as if it has always been near… like static… an internal white noise perhaps?! My proverbial thief in the night.

I do not understand it but I am slowly learning to accept it; to just let it unfold. I do not feel as powerless when I give myself permission to endure it; raw and undiluted. It is not me giving up, nor is it me brooding. Rather, Ii is me accepting it as part of my experience, for now.

It is candid,

                  It is outspoken

                                 It {often} outstays its welcome

                                                               But. It. is. fleeting!

                 

It does not define me; it does not mean my happiness is gone for good. It is what it is… and in the morning I will wake up to see those beautiful faces and it. will. be. gone.

twinkle twinkle I.N.D.I.A

{"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand; how men would believe and adore"}

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

We tried something a little different a few nights ago. India had spent the whole day at Alex’s house and was reluctant to come home. There was many a tear shed! I really missed my girl and so I thought we could spend some special time together during her evening bottle.

We lay on the “trampolina”, sharing a blanket and pillow. We said a prayer and thanked our Heavenly Father for all the wonderful and beautiful creations He has provided the earth and us with. As we lay there, I experienced one of those rare moments where I not only felt God, but I could see and hear Him all around us! I began to feel so insurmountably small in comparision to that night's sky and I tried to comprehend my place in the universe. whilst I gazed up, the stars shone brightly, and it suddenly dawned on me. Though the stars seem small from our mortal perspective, they are by definition* grandiose...  and likewise I am also. {"I am large, I contain multitudes" ~ W. Whitman}

The sun was setting past the horizon, causing the stars to illuminate and casting the sky in to darkness, with just a hint of blood orange. It was gorgeous! And my first born was gorgeous as she sweetly sang “twinkle, twinkle little star” and drank her warm milk. 

(not the best pic but a true representation of us)

* star/stär/ Noun 

1. A planet, constellation, or configuration regarded as influencing someone's fortunes or personality

2. A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun

Adios Elder Chinigan

My cousin Connor has been called to serve a Spanish speaking mission for the LDS church in Eugene, Oregon. He reported to the MTC on April 13th. My Aunty Sharon posted his departure photos online and I cried the whole way through them!

Connor and I grew up a decade and a universe apart... But when it comes to our family, time and space are futile concepts... In April of 2005 I spent 4 weeks living/holidaying with his family and I like to think that Connor and i formed a special bond of friendship and love in that time. This trip coincided with a time in my life that holds a great deal of meaning and emotion for me, (for reasons i will not get into now) needless to say I LOVED my time with the Scarletts!

When I first met Connor he was a mischievous 13 yr old boy, and despite the fact that I was a mischievous 22 yr old young adult, we found the same things funny and shared common interests. See proof here:

{snow ball fights}

 {sight seeing and snuggling}

[I wish Sharry was in this picture]

 {wrestling}

{more wrestling}

 {even more wrestling}

{chinigans}

 

{more chinigans}

{even more chinigans}

 

It's been 6 years since we last spent anytime time together and a lot of growing occurs in that kind of time-

Growing physically

Growing spiritually

Growing experiences

Growing dreams & goals 

Growing up in general...

And yet no matter the time that goes by I do not feel that there has been any growing apart... It's been so great to connect with family via blogs, fb, etc... and to see Connor grow into the man he is becoming.

Now that I have a son I am ever grateful for the examples of good men in my family! Men that my boy can look to in times of doubt, hardship, and joy and feel uplifted by their examples. It is my hope that Reeve will one day recognize their willingness to serve and remain faithful to our Redeemer, Jesus Christ, and these examples may strengthen his own resolve to do the same. So... Thanks Connor, for placing your name on that list! I love you and I've been saving up my chinagins for when we meet again :) May the Lord bless you and your family as you serve His children and keep you safe in His keep until your work is done...

GB xxx