Sometimes… just sometimes…I feel like I’m drowning!
Dry drowning in a weir of trepidation and chaos and uncertainty and sadness! A real bone crunching, soul destroying, leave you flat on your face, kind of sadness. It is fickle, it is pointless, but it is here in this very moment!
Its origin disconcerts me, almost as if it has always been near… like static… an internal white noise perhaps?! My proverbial thief in the night.
I do not understand it but I am slowly learning to accept it; to just let it unfold. I do not feel as powerless when I give myself permission to endure it; raw and undiluted. It is not me giving up, nor is it me brooding. Rather, Ii is me accepting it as part of my experience, for now.
It is candid,
It is outspoken
It {often} outstays its welcome
But. It. is. fleeting!
It does not define me; it does not mean my happiness is gone for good. It is what it is… and in the morning I will wake up to see those beautiful faces and it. will. be. gone.
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