before Frozen was a thing.. we learnt to Let It Go!

I decided to take India ice-skating in the school holidays at the end of last year. She had tried really hard to sleep in her own bed every night, as well as mustered as much most courage she could every school drop off and held her tears well. I wanted to take her out for a special day. I was proud of her progress and wanted her to feel special. We went to the ice arena in the morning and then out for McDonalds as a treat afterwards.

We were both nervous about the skating. It had been years since my last trip to the rink and lets just say my body was a little more agile back in those days. It was India's first time. To my sheer relief they had walking frames equipped for the ice to use as a guiding frame.This God send enabled me to help India feel steady  and allowed me to secretly rely on it for the first few laps until i got the feel for skating once more. I used to skate often when i was in my youth and have many fond memories of the Adelaide Ice Arena. However, i was most keen to see my little girl in action!

India was unsure at first. she approached the ice trembling, and not from the cold. She repeatedly told me she was scared and needed to be reassured that i would not let her go until she felt confident. She was slow to get the hang of it but by the end of our skate session she was clumsily able to do a lap by herself without the frame. This made her feel proud and happy. It was a rewarding morning as i carefully and consciously watched her try and fail and try again. It was encouraging to see her refuse to quit. India really wanted to learn how to skate, and even when she felt downtrodden, she picked herself up and kept on trying. She was a joy to watch and had me laughing when she decided to dance to the sweet sweet jams playing over the sound system. Its important for me to take the time to just watch India. She can teach me so much when i let her and i often feel as though i miss the lessons i'm meant to be learning when i try to control too much. We promised each other to come back again soon. I will keep this promise,not only of the refresher course on how to brave, but to simply laugh... out loud... as a little child.

India is 5

Dear India,

You just turned 5. You have been counting down the days to your party and your birthday with great care. You have been no respecter of persons, telling anyone with ears to hear that you are having a butterfly themed birthday party because you are turning 5.

5 years ago you entered this world and made me a mother. There is no gift on earth I could offer you to settle that score my girl... What a present you are and how present you ground me. I am uplifted by you. I am challenged by you. I am strengthened by you.

You love to sing and perform shows for us daily! They would be hourly if given the chance. You choreograph dance and song for maximum applause. You favorite routines at the moment are to 'jet lagged'' by simple plan & 'I knew you were trouble' by Taylor swift. I look forward to taking you to your first concert and one day attending your own when you become the super diva you were born to be.

You are thoughtful and kind to others. You do not understand malice and I used to worry that others would take advantage of your good nature. I am learning to let you handle the big bad world by letting you shine that light so bright it blinds the haters. I am so proud of how you handle confrontation and I am astounded by your ability to make peace. Never be afraid to defend yourself honey but always try hard to kill with kindness first!

You are becoming more willing to try new foods and activities. Even if only small bites at first. There is nothing wrong with taking your time so long as you move forward. Always move forward. You have taken on the motto 'I can  do hard things' and have surprised me with repeating it out loud at times of distress. Don't ever stop believing it! You are made of stronger stuff than anything found on this earth!

Whether it be cooking or crafting or whatever the medium, You love to create. This indicates a willingness to be vulnerable as well as a willingness to fail. I am just as proud of you for your mistakes as i am humbled by your success. You will one day understand that trying and failing and trying again is a valuable craft and one that you should master. Never be afraid to fail because that is often where the magic happens.

You are an individual. You are unique and special and sacred. I love you and I am honored to be your mum! May the next 5 years bring us to higher ground and greater love!! Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Love Mum xoxo

big boy is 3

Reeve,

We had a few friends and cousins over to share your birthday. Your Tia Carmen and I decided to combine our efforts and give you and Noah a joint Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle party. I think it is safe to say that you enjoyed your day. There were party games, party bags, presents, pizza, a pinata, best friends and cake. I made you a cake that you picked out, in the shape of Leonardo. When i showed it to you that morning your eyes lit up. You said "you made dis for me mum?" and as i replied yes you leant in and kissed me. It was a tender moment that i do not want to forget. You were so happy and grateful. I remember feeling so proud of you...

We ended your special day with a trip to the Royal Perth Show. You were allowed to choose 2 rides and 2 show-bags. You had spent time in previous days looking on the show website to choose the perfect ones. You were adamant about a shark bouncy slide and it happened to be one of the first things we saw as we entered the showgrounds. We stayed to watch the horses and the fireworks. I watched as you played with your TMNT watch (from your show-bag), mouth full of bubblegum (from your show-bag), eyes full of joy! As the fireworks began you were sat upon your dad's shoulders. I could hear your screaming the colours of the fireworks that you saw. It was a sight to behold. Your sister danced beside me. My heart was full. As we left for home we asked you if you had enjoyed your birthday and you told us "i so happy... i so happy". We were so happy too my boy!

You have grown so much these past few months. Not just in your physical status. You have become more aware of others and of the way your actions impact on those around you. You are calmer. You are polite. You are still a terror when you do not get your way.

You love to play with your Ninja Turtles, Iron-man, Spider-man and Hulk figurines. I hear you and watch you playing out scenarios as they fight. I am entertained by your imagination. You become embarrassed easily  when you catch me watching you.You love to pretend to be a baby monkey and ask me to be a mummy monkey. You climb up my neck and cuddle in tight and ask for a banana. You love piggy backs from your sissy!

You hate vegetables unless they are hidden in pumpkin soup or spaghetti. You love fruit. You love juice. You cannot stop at just one lolly and i have to hide them from you. You have one bottle still at night to help you get to sleep. You only like one specific bottle that you have nicknamed 'naanaa' because you used to tease India with it as she doesn't get to have one and you do. You are very cheeky and enjoying teasing. Although you do not like to be teased back. We are slowly working on developing a better balance.

I call you my golden boy. You have an energy about you that is as warming as the sun. When you smile the corners of your eyes crinkle and you look just like your Great Grandfather Smylie. It feels like a homecoming. You love to play rough but you also love to snuggle. You will often come up to me and demand a cuddle. You sound angry but i suspect you are really just hungry for connection. I will always offer you connection. You are very polite and always use your manners. I pray you continue to do so. Manners are important and you will find that kindness is power. Do not seek power, seek kindness! You are eager to love and you are a good friend to your sister. Keep her secrets, your heart is open and India will feel safe enough to share them with you. You are loyal and I am so very proud of who you are already...

All my love
your Mum xoxo

i love this pic of Reeve with his bestie (Taco) and India's expression!